Endless vile to infinity.

The one way of living an authentic life based on your present condition, actions,beliefs and practice.

We fail to understand that truth breeds sadness as much as freedom. We make do evil and make it seem like saying the truth is wrong.

Owning your truth is based off what you say, rather than what others say. More like “standing your ground”. Most times I feel it’s not true if not discovered or learnt from. An action or a choice. The truth is rarely pure and never simple.” “A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.” “Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.” “Perhaps one did not want to be loved so much as to be understood.” Truth without love is brutality, and love without truth is hypocrisy. An unbelievable truth hurts more than a lie. Standing the thoughts that We all die. The goal isn’t to live forever, the goal is to create something that will. Knowing this brings peace as much as fear.

People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that’s bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they’re afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they’re wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It’s all in how you carry it. That’s what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you’re letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain. We have to allow ourselves to be loved by the people who really love us, the people who really matter. Too much of the time, we are blinded by our own pursuits of people to love us, people that don’t even matter, while all that time we waste and the people who do love us have to stand on the sidewalk and watch us beg in the streets! It’s time to put an end to this. It’s time for us to let ourselves be loved. Even though we stop believing in reality. It doesn’t stop from showing you your mistakes.

The heart can get really cold. If all its know is winter. The truth is rarely pure and never simple. We’re walking with our eyes on everyone else, ignoring the screams that come from the people buried alive underneath our feet. Yet we say we’re here for each other and say we care. And we hypocritically wonder why everyone is walking passed our own screams as though we don’t do the same. Truthfully, I’m sorry if this sounds harsh or surprises anyone, but this is where we are. If you want the outcome to be different, you will have to do something about it. A truth that’s told with bad intent
Beats all the lies you can invent. Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.

Most men would rather deny a hard truth than face it. Usually we walk around constantly believing ourselves. “I’m okay” we say. “I’m alright”. But sometimes the truth arrives on you and you can’t get it off. That’s when you realize that sometimes it isn’t even an answer–it’s a question. Even now, I wonder how much of my life is convinced. Sometimes mills, it takes a good fall to know where you stand. Lol, People often claim to hunger for truth, but seldom like the taste when it’s served up. People think that a liar gains a victory over his victim. What I’ve learned is that a lie is an act of self-abdication, because one surrenders one’s reality to the person to whom one lies, making that person one’s master, condemning oneself from then on to faking the sort of reality that person’s view requires to be faked…The man who lies to the world, is the world’s slave from then on…There are no white lies, there is only the blackest of destruction, and a white lie is the blackest of all. It happens all the time. People lie to themselves or their therapists because they’re ashamed or they don’t want to deal with the reality of their circumstances. Sometimes people are manipulative and twist the narrative to get something from the therapist: attention, empathy, love. Or the most likely reason: Sometimes the truth really hurts. We hope the truth will visit our minds, not among the crowds, but in an isolated place, in the middle of nowhere! But the truth is that the truth can visit us anywhere, anytime!

It is not courage that makes us speak the truth, but it is a hunger for truth that makes us courageous, plus, What is lost to lies is recovered in truth.

The fact is that we have no way of knowing if the person who we think we are is at the core of our being. Are you a decent girl with the potential to someday become an evil monster, or are you an evil monster that thinks it’s a decent girl? The lies we tell other people are nothing to the lies we tell ourselves. The truth fights for us but we prefer to be submissive to the lies that makes us happy. ]

Omoh, People would rather live in a community with unreasonable claims, than face loneliness with their truth and that is quite a saddening tale for people whose stories have just been penned down with a bold header and no caption! The truth only hurts when you believe its a lie.

Lose ignorance, find truth. Resist hate, embrace love. Truth is only harsh if you’re unable to face it and the hardest truth is change!


The edges that pokes us!

Life has no rules on how it work. Life stands on it’s own. It owns its wins and losses. Things change and friends leave but still life waits for no one and takes ones life when it feels to own one.

Life is under no obligation to give us what we want. This life is what you make it. No matter what, you’re going to mess up sometimes, it’s a universal truth. But the good part is you get to decide how you’re going to mess it up. People will be your friends – they’ll act like it anyway. But just remember, some come, some go. The ones that stay with you through everything – they’re your true best friends. Don’t let go of them. Also remember, Find the best friends in the world. As for lovers, well, they’ll come and go too. And baby, I hate to say it, most of them – actually pretty much all of them are going to break your heart, but you can’t give up because if you give up, you’ll never find your soulmate. You’ll never find that half who makes you whole and that goes for everything. Just because you fail once, doesn’t mean you’re gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don’t, then who will, sweetie? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life’s a beautiful thing and there’s so much to smile about but then, I can never read all the books I want; I can never be all the people I want and live all the lives I want. I can never train myself in all the skills I want. And why do I want? I want to live and feel all the shades, tones and variations of mental and physical experience possible in my life. And I am horribly limited.

you think?

Life is the only thing that’s allow to break rules and make them. Life isn’t about finding yourself it’s about you creating yourself.

Life will break you and Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone won’t either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up. And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness. Tell yourself you tasted as many as you could.I wanted a perfect ending. Now I’ve learned, the hard way, that some poems don’t rhyme, and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next. There is a quote that says ” THIS LIFE NO BALANCE” this life owes you nothing except you!

Life doesn’t send you or care about what you think. Life takes action, by giving you what you deserve and what you have chosen to have on the long run. Remember, once there’s life there is hope and where there’s love there is life! Just when you think it can’t get any worse, it can. And just when you think it can’t get any better, it can.

You know, When I was about 10 years of age , my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life. Life can only be understood backwards but it must be lived forward. Attitude is a choice. Happiness is a choice. Optimism is a choice. Kindness is a choice. Giving is a choice. Respect is a choice. Whatever choice you make makes you. The most important thing is to enjoy your life, to be happy is all that matters. My experience of life is that it is not divided up into genres; it’s a horrifying, romantic, tragic, comical, science-fiction cowboy detective novel. You know, with a bit of pornography if you’re lucky. If you don’t know where you’re going to life would take you there from experiences and mistakes made from our action due to irresponsibility and responsibility. We are what we pretend to be so we should be careful about what we pretend to be.

Lol! “It is said that life flashes before your eyes just before you die” that’s the truth. That’s life! Its weird but we enjoy the feeling of being lost in our thoughts and the hurts of our hearts. DEATHS ENDS A LIFE AS WELL AS LIFE GROWS FORTHWITH ANOTHER. The saddest aspect of life right now is that science gathers knowledge faster than society gathers wisdom and you can never find peace by avoiding LIFE!


The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.

Live the Life of Your Dreams: Be brave enough to live the life of your dreams according to your vision and purpose instead of the expectations and opinions of others.

Life is time.



A letter to a PAST, PRESENT, FUTURE”. A sum of the beginning to the end.

01Dear You,

I’m not sure I’m ready to put this into words but I know if I don’t try I’ll continue regretting not putting into words what needs to be said. So, at least at the end of this, no matter how it ends, I can at least say I tried.

In this past year with you, I’ve learned a lot. About myself, about relationships, being an adult, about love. I’ve learned that I’m the type of person who loves with my entire being. When I love or care about someone, I let my entire world revolve around them. That’s what I did with you. You came into my life at a time when I wasn’t ready for anyone, let alone you. You came into my life and you weren’t a person–you were this entity that I became enraptured with. Your infectious personality, your incredible way with words, your delectable charm–it all seemed too good to be true. I think what it comes down to is I became involved with you before I was ever ready. I didn’t take the time to figure out what I wanted and what I needed from someone–from you, from our relationship. When we started all of this, you made it very clear you didn’t want a relationship. I thought it was because you were scared or you’d been hurt. I know now it’s because you’re not capable of having a relationship—at least not the kind I want.

I’m going to be honest with you because that’s what people who care about each other do. This is something I’ve been dealing with for a long time and it’s gone on long enough because honestly, it hurts too much. It’s not fair. I’m holding on because I hope things will change, which is perfectly reasonable, but I can’t change a person. I can’t change you, and I can’t change your situation. I can only change myself and the situations I choose to be a part of. You choose to let this nonsense continue and I’ve tried to understand and ignore it, but I can’t anymore. If you wanted to move on, you could. If you wanted to change the dynamics of your relationship with this other guy, you could. I know you well enough by now to know that when you want someone out of your life, that’s it—they’re out. You have had plenty of time to reevaluate your situation and the damage it does to yourself and other people. Why have you done nothing about it? And I don’t mean making profiles private or pursuing secret relationships because that’s childish. I mean taking action and making adult decisions.

just want you to realize what I’m worth. I invite you into my life, my head, my heart, my family, my bed. That is all very special, and not everyone I meet is entitled to those things. I’ve given you everything and in return, you’re not even really mine.”

I am choosing to stay in this relationship and endure all of the lies, pain, and absurdity. I want nothing more than to believe every single word you say about it being crazy and him being crazy and all of that. I want nothing more than to continue telling everyone to fuck off—that they don’t understand our relationship. You know why I stay, but I deserve to treat myself better.  At the VERY LEAST, I deserve honesty from you. You like to use the reasoning that because I’m not technically tied to you relationship wise (i.e. being your “spouse”) but the fact of the matter is we are in a relationship despite the fact that that is not the term you’d like to use. You’ve made it clear I am not to sleep with anyone else or go on dates—I know you do it in jest but we both know some part of you would feel hurt if YOU found out I was sneaking around behind your back. So, why do it to me?


How many times has something like this happened before? Because you know that although I may speak up, I still won’t do anything about it. Maybe I am, as she put it, just a stupid little girl. I know you have feelings for me, otherwise you wouldn’t even bother with our relationship, but it worries me that this is the way you treat people you care about.

What’s sicker is there are times when we’re together and I think nothing and no one else matters—you have this way of making me feel like I am yours and you’re mine. In the end though, none of that compares to the bigger issue here which is completely unacceptable. The issue being I may have those thoughts but in the end, it’s not true. You and your heart do, whether you see it or not, already belong to someone else.

I just want you to realize what I’m worth. I invite you into my life, my head, my heart, my family, my bed. That is all very special, and not everyone I meet is entitled to those things. I’ve given you everything and in return, in major relationship in your life. I hate being alone, but I am 100% content knowing that I will not give myself to anyone undeserving. This is my life and I am the most important person in it and for the past year, I’ve forgotten that.

I love you. I’ve never cared about anyone as much as I do for you. I would do almost anything for you—anything you ask of me. The memories I get to keep as a result of being with you are some of the best I have. You are a fantastic human being with a light about you that draws people into you—but one thing I cannot do is continue letting you lead me down a path of dishonesty. You don’t see it as dishonesty, I get that, but unfortunately that is what has happened. Whether it’s lying about spending time with her while you’re gone or lying about the “complicated situation,” or telling her I’m a crazy little girl with a big crush, lying is lying and it still hurts the people who care about you.

I’ve fought for you in the only possible way I know how—by being there for you and loving you. But I realize I’m fighting a losing battle. You’re everything to me—and I’m not much to you. She’s won. I do truly hope you read this and try to see it through my point of view—I don’t understand this situation. And if I get nothing from you now, I never will. I want to—I want to know who she is, the part she plays in your life, if you’re still sleeping with him—so many questions that, until answered, make me question our involvement with each other.

And the sickest thing, and even I have to admit this, is that at the end of the day, I will let this happen. I will turn the other way. I will let you continue having other relationships and I will continue believing your lies. I can act angry and upset and yell and kick and scream but never will I let you go. I can’t. And that, above all else, makes me the most pathetic person I’ve ever known.

I don’t think you meant to ever hurt me—but you have. When someone you care about is dishonest, it hurts more than anything. I want to believe you—I want you to let me in. I want you to trust me and I want you to recognize that I’m here and willing to listen and understand.

But most of all, I just want you. All of you. And in the end, I can only hope you want me, and only me, too.

Past Self
Lost, confused.
Tossed, abused.
ONCE crossed for you.
TWICE dodged for you.
I left me,
Just like you left me
For you;
All THREE of you.
Disregarding it,
I mirrored your shit;
Writing the right words,
In all the wrong places.
Anything to make,
Me feel alive.
Anything to make,
My palette hued.
I let the peak of my piques
Go further.
No mother nor father.
Your daughters;
The sanguine and the phlegmatic.
Current Self
Now I’ve become both.
The one I was not before,
Is now “Unreachable”.
Young seeds impure.
I want to explore,
Every fiber of your being.
In every cerebrate,
Finding your meaning.
But I cannot.
I cannot reach the
You cannot reach “FOUR“play,
Without my FIFTH.
The SIXTH time you did it,
Will be the first that I miss.
Pith of my path in Harlem:
Where I find my today,
Where I had embraced my yesterday,
Where I will think of, as my tomorrow—
Is where my stone spins
In motion.
They say SEVEN days
Without love,
Makes one weak.
I’ve gone two years
Without mine—
Not my inward thoughts,
Or my ill-fated relationships;
Filled with abuse and wrong doings—
Too long into it.
In some way,
The “Unreachable’s” alluring.
Without mine.
Future Self
My growth sprouts,
Mostly because of
Being desecrated and deprecated.
A seed was planted,
A little twig with a little leaf.
A little fix and a little tweak.
I branched the base,
And made a new reality.
I will skip the last three,
Like I did for my first seven
Just to end with my TENTH.
Foreign guidelines to play
The twisted hopscotch
Maze of my ratiocination
I cater to and hide behind this
No “for sure” feeling,
But, for sure…you’re feeling
That, this could be last.
Or maybe,
A new cycle—
Starting with my past


……………………Giving you all of myself,
To you and not anyone else.
Every day, not just now and then,
To be able to call you more than a friend.

Friendship goes in and out.
To make it stay, to be more than a doubt.
A wish well wanted to become real,
To see through the mist that’s never still.

Hearts that don’t stop loving,
Even when one dies.
Eyes that are truthful that tell no lies.
Lips that share the love so sweet,
Bodies that feel the intense heat.

Sunny days spent together,
Memories that will hopefully last forever.
Winters spent keeping each other warm,
Holding each other through the storm.

Emotions so strong they must be shared
So someone else does not stand bare.
Giving without taking back.
Never giving into the slack.

Here at the chapel we stand,
To be called wife and man,
To be one forever and always,
Walking down the corridors and hallways.

Life will give plenty of times
When the corridor splits in two.
We’ll go together in the dark,
But if we stay together,
We’ll make it through.

Making it through, day by day,
This is what I had to say.
Learn and also be the teacher,
Of what was, is, and could be,
The Past, Present, Future.

OH! I love you.


Slave for love.


FIRSTLY, what is our understanding by slavery??
Slavery the strictest sense of the term, any system in which principles of property law are applied to people, allowing individuals to own, and sell other individuals, as a de jure form of property.A slave is unable to withdraw unilaterally from such an arrangement and works without remuneration.


“Slavery is such an atrocious debasement of human nature, that its very extirpation, if not performed with solicitous care, may sometimes open a source of serious evils. The unhappy man who has been treated as a brute animal, too frequently sinks beneath the common standard of the human species. The galling chains, that bind his body, do also fetter his intellectual faculties, and impair the social affections of his heart… To instruct, to advise, to qualify those, who have been restored to freedom, for the exercise and enjoyment of civil liberty… and to procure for their children an education calculated for their future situation in life; these are the great outlines of the annexed plan, which we have adopted. To be given dominion over another is a hard thing; to wrest dominion over another is a wrong thing; to give dominion of yourself to another is a wicked thing. Nobody can turn you into a slave unless you allow them. Nobody can make you afraid of anything, unless you allow them. Nobody can tell you to do something wrong, unless you allow them. God never created you to be a slave, man did. God never created division or set up any borders between brothers, man did. God never told you hurt or kill another, man did. So why is man your god, and not the Creator?
Just like freedom, Truth is not cheap. Yet both are worth more than all the gold in the world. But what is freedom, if there is no truth? And what is truth, if there is no freedom? Both are worth fighting for,because one without the other would be hell.
Basically, I have gotten to understand the being slaved in love comes in three forms, namely:
1: Emotional/ mental slavery
2: Physical slavery
3: Subjective slavery!

Emotionalslavery/ Mental slavery: these blocks the Mind from reaching the heart , basically stopping the soul from being free to the outside spirit from understanding, I feel in a relationship or whatever conditions you’re in there’s a difference between PATIENCE and ENDURANCE! THEREFORE, making it open clear that patience is waiting with hope for a destination despite the intrusion in issues and problems that might surface in the relationship. This means you have a goal to achieve , a point to reach. This means you will go off guard and slow but you have a destination to reach despite the outcomes !
Now, what about ENDURANCE?
MY Word , Endurance is a preferred solution to patience, if you can’t stand it, get a hold of it, “stop”!! This is confiding in your achievements knowing fully well that you might not make it.
Endurance stops you and shows you that there’s a better route than being what you’re not , then stop it!

Mental slavery is bad to the human life.It took me months, years to  become aware of my mental commentary, such as: “Everything always goes wrong”, “I won’t be accepted”, “I’m a failure” or “What’s the point?” Those fears were deep-rooted and triggered many upsetting addictive patterns of behaviour.

Psychological11324964_1579403818990398_151712541_n Emotions :These circumstances can be one of the following: temporary or permanently prisoners; captivity “in the hands of the enemy” or other forms of captivity; abducted characters; “sold into slavery” plot line; forced servitude/slavery through blackmail or as means to repay debts; institutionalized slave characters in books representing slavery as an acknowledged social institution; characters who have to pretend to be enslaved; psychological/emotional/physical constraints applied with the sole purpose of controlling, manipulating the protagonist.

Subjective slavery: Forced to be submissive to someone’s needs without yours being accepted or APPRECIATED in any way.
Life is owned by that person which has it and has been given by God, don’t let a being of no nature poke your happiness and torment the smile that has been built inside of you. You’re born great! Be great! Don’t be​ submissive to your husband because of a love that hurts or a love that carries so much weight than that of the family or relationship. My dear life has to go on inside and outside of you! Be submissive,yes! But to yourself!! To your happiness and charisma, to your choices and admirating desired desire. Submission to love or sex or pain or hurt doesn’t count UNLESS A YOU IN YOU “SAYS SO”. I have you a question you relaxing broken ass relationships that needs help!! Would God love you to feel pain of submitted slavery not just to someone you love but to also, someone which you desired not to be with ? Left to me. My answer remains NO!!


I can’t lie about the business of denying myself the simple pleasure of saying true things. I’m in love with you, and I know that love is just a shout into the void, and that oblivion is inevitable, and that we’re all doomed and that there will come a day when all our labor has been returned to dust, and I know the sun will swallow the only earth we’ll ever have, and I am in love with you.

I love that you get cold when it’s 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a cake. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose and tell me to help you scratch it, when you’re looking at me like I’m nuts. I love that after I spend the day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it’s not because I’m lonely, and it’s not because i don’t have anyone to talk to but because it’s you . I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.
I am selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best. You have completely turn my whole world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that might never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are.

The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colors seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you.
You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end.
Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life. Yeah, Everyone wants it, & Me, Honestly, I want us to last. I just don’t want to have a great couple of months with you and then it’s over, I don’t want to experience the feelings of being lost and hurt all over again. I just wanna be with you all the time, No matter what happens, No matter what challenges, or how hard our situation is, We”ll keep fighting for our love.
I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.

One by one, drops fell from her eyes like they were on an assembly line – gather, fall, slide…gather, fall, slide…each one commemorating something she had lost. Hope. Faith. Confidence. Pride. Security. Trust. Independence. Joy. Beauty. Freedom. Innocence. “Yes, I understand why things had to happen this way. I understand his reason for causing pain. But mere understanding does not chase away the hurt. It does not call upon the sun when dark clouds have loomed over me. Let the rain come then if it must come! And let it wash away the dust that hurt my eyes!
Yes, you hurt me. Yes, you broke me. Yes, you left me! Yes you took another knowing we were together leaving me in a whole new world of emptiness I knew nothing about! Yes, I cared. Yes, I cried… but No, I haven’t stopped loving you.

That’s the funny thing about old hurts- they just wait for new heartache to come along and then show up, just as sharp and horrible as the first day you woke up with the world changed all around you. The pain started years ago, but I’d lived with it for so long at that point that I’d accepted it as an inevitable part of me.

Love those who hurt you the most, because they are probably the ones closest to you. They, too, are on a path, and just like you they are learning to walk before they can fly. Imagine of everybody hurt in life turned their backs on you? You would be playing a hell of a lot of solitaire. Love them no matter what.
Love is sacrifice, knowing full well of the pain in advance and the struggles in areas that seemed not possible to pass , love is unconditional and unbearable at the same time, love knows no boundaries, love teaches.
We all are “WORKING PROGRESS” of love!

The Bible said “love your neighbor as you love yourself” (mark 12 vs 31),therefore making yourself an instrument for others to see and for you to see. If you hurt your leg on a stone, you won’t want to do it again. Neither would you want even your enemies to hurt their foot upon the stone. Why? Because of the pain. People talk about love and forget the pain .We would talk about both and know the pain love acquires. Sometimes love doesn’t need your wants or needs, love needs your desirable understand on how to pull through love knowing fully well it’s consequences. God is love for he sacrificed his life for our ungratefulness but still satisfies our wants and gives heeds to our needs “that is love”!
Love is Sacrifice.


It’s Okay

Jada blogs

It’s okay to cry, it’s not a sign of weakness…

It’s  a way to purge the poison and start afresh

A lot of people see it as a sign of weakness but really, it isn’t 

I mean, think of  it, do you put clean water in a dirty cup and drink and expect to be okay?

Of course not!

You’d have to wash it first and get rid of all the dirt in order to put in clean water which is good for you… don’t you think?

That is the same philosophy i’d apply to this in general. I mean, there are so many things that you’ve cried about and you find it easier to move on from that hurt…atleast to some extent

And it works it actually works to be honest and its funny that this is weakness to some people but hey!, no one wants a ticking time…

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You Broke Me.

Biodun 20161225_001719Hello. Have you ever wondered why your hearts beats so fast and drastic for a solution to the endless nightmare that is eating you up during the daytime?I  have tried to understand  the pain behind me being broken and it seems like there is no way but to feel all that which i have caused by self.

You broke me like I had been a stranger to you. No, you broke me like I had been your enemy. Because strangers do not deserve being left out in the dark of night, the cold of day, the pouring rain, the blistering sun. And that’s what you did, you left me in all these states and all at once. I loved you and you broke me.

You broke me with such ease, like all we had and all I was, was a bad dream; a recurring nightmare in your otherwise perfect slumber. You broke me and I was no longer your nightingale, your source of strength, your reason for being; your soul, your body, your heart, your hope. Even though when you left, you were still mine. I loved you and you broke me.

You broke me and left me with scars and open wounds, with no remedies for my pain, no closure, no solace; you broke me and left me in nothingness, and without any respite. All that existed was an empty space in a room with no light; all my faith slipped through windows and doors. I became a stranger to my life and to my existence. I loved you and you broke me.

You broke me and I fixed myself. With papier-mâché and duct tape and anger and sadness and dark humor and one too many drinks and drugs that made me numb; and far too much sexual attention from men I knew were bad for me. But you broke me so you don’t get to judge me for any or all of this. I loved you and you broke me.

You broke me and I fixed myself woefully, terribly, imperfectly, but still the best ways I could in each passing moment; getting to and through the next moment was my only concern. And I did it. And I don’t know if I can say I wouldn’t do it all over again. So I’m not going to apologize to you. I loved you and you broke me.

You broke me but I fixed myself, and I am still alive. Breathing. Surviving. Healing. And waiting. Waiting for the day, the hour, the moment where I know that I will love you forever but also know for certain, that the brokenness you created has become something beautiful. And because of the beauty that comes with this kind of brokenness, I don’t need you to apologize to me either. But for now we can just leave at this: I loved you and you broke me


What is love???

I’ve gone far and wide as to ask my self the same questions​ over and over again. I feel so depressed as I ask myself questions that even great minds have not gotten answers to. How could i still love you so much after you hurt me so bad? I guess when i said “I love you” i actually meant it. Because when you truly love someone, you give them your whole heart to control. Giving your heart to someone gives them the power to take it and cherish it forever, or to take it and break it. But when you’re in love that is a risk that you have to take…and I took that risk. I gave my whole heart away to you, the one that i love. You promised you would never hurt me, and I believed and trusted you with everything that i had. But you did. You hurt me like no one else ever has. You walked out of my life and took with you my heart, a part of me I can never have back. And with you my heart will always stay, haunting you, until you decide to come back so we can share our hearts again.
Love is ironic…isn’t it? The person that you love the most is the person that hurt you the most. And you will continue loving that person for the rest of your life, whether you like it or not, even if they never come back into your life again. Because TRUE LOVE IS ETERNAL. No matter how many people come across your path, the one person you loved the most will always hold a special place in your heart. And in my heart, Sweetie, that place is for you. It will always be empty, waiting for you to fill it again. I don’t know if you’ll ever walk back into my life, but with this I hope you realize just how much you are loved by me.Question go over and over concerning love and the benefits it gives. Love is understanding, love is culture, loves is beating yourself knowing that everything is going wrong. Love is God!! Love is endurance love is patient, Love

s in Need too busy sometimes. Love is the best coffee to stay awake to keep sight of time to walk hard knowing that your eyes get stuck in confusion and distress that is love. Love Is Knowing When to stop. But with all these things I ask myself, what is love?

Broken Hearts!

“To be rejected by someone doesn’t mean you should also reject yourself or that you should think of yourself as a lesser person. It doesn’t mean that nobody will ever love you anymore. Remember that only ONE person has rejected you at the moment, and it only hurt so much because to you, that person’s opinion symbolized the opinion of the whole world, of God.”

“Yes, I understand why things had to happen this way. I understand his reason for causing me pain. But mere understanding does not chase away the hurt. It does not call upon the sun when dark clouds have loomed over me. Let the rain come then if it must come! And let it wash away the dust that hurt my eyes!”

“So I am not a broken heart.
I am not the weight I lost or miles ran and I am not the way I slept at my doorstep under the bare sky in smell of tears and whiskey because my apartment was empty and if I were to be this empty I wanted something solid to sleep on. Like concrete.
I am not this year and I am not your fault.
I am muscles building cells, a little every day, because they broke that day,
but bones are stronger once they heal and I am smiling to the bus driver and replacing my groceries once a week and I am not sitting for hours in the shower anymore.
I am the way a life unfolds and bloom and seasons come and go and I am the way the spring always finds a way to turn even the coldest winter into a field of green and flowers and new life.
I am better off not broken

There are many things I don’t know, but quite a few I do. I know you can’t be lost if you know where you are. I know that life is full of precious and fragile things, and not all of them are pretty. I know that the sun follows the moon and makes days, one after another. Time passes. The world turns, and we turn with it, and though we can never go back to the beginning, sometimes, we can start again.

i always wanted to be a poet and a lot of things had made me better than that, i had tasted brokenness and pain but deep inside i was crushed because that dream to live was no longer there. those who hurt me wont get me there but myself, so if i stay up waiting and crying about pain and no gain and not working towards my needs, then i’m broken to shreds.